Happy B'day to me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually I didn't want this day to come so soon because frm today.. I'm one year older :( ......
This is one of those years when although u have grown up by just 1 year but the two figures give totally different meaning... What I mean is like when we move from 19 to 20, it's not the same as 17 to 18.. Anyways, it's my birthday and I will make this day special for myself !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yipppiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
What a waste of opportunity !!!
What a waste of opportunity.....
I managed to get shortlisted somehow (my killer looks :P, cgpa, extra-currics, i-bank interns*2) It could have been anything!! Well, how does it matter… I was there with some of the stud people sharing a common goal – DEUTSCHE BANK!!!
Already many were eliminated after the first round and as usual I was busy with my weird thoughts and imagination when suddenly 'A' entered the room and I heard my name in a bold voice – “Surabhi !”
I sprang up, straight to the door and after a firm handshake I was finally facing him… He asked a couple of questions and I answered completely forgetting it was an interview.. I was relaxed and comfortable, confident and to-the-point. I knew he liked direct crisp answers and that’s what I gave him. So the interview was good and I came back 90% sure I would get through this first round.
So after some time a pretty HR came with a list of people. She was fumbling with Indian names when suddenly I heard ‘Saurabh Jain’. I was quite sure that no such guy has come for the interview and this is a result of mispronunciation!! Quite happy I was, and in excitement just forgot that there was second round to go and I am supposed to give my best in that also.
So when the time came for 2nd round, I went, a bit too relaxed and content. Not even one answer of mine gave an impression of achievement, enthu or anything which would make them like me. I could not drive the conversation, was quite boring and dull, I did not even sound interested to answer his specific questions. I lost it, completely. I guess I am one of the few people who knows how close it was and then what went wrong.
Anyways, if you ask me, yes I am disappointed specially when I think about the magnitude of the opportunity. It was crucial, too crucial to just let go. I would have been relieved of so much tension and arbit pondering over the job-scene. A piece of free advice – NEVER TAKE THINGS LIGHTLY SPECIALLY AT THE LAST MOMENT
I managed to get shortlisted somehow (my killer looks :P, cgpa, extra-currics, i-bank interns*2) It could have been anything!! Well, how does it matter… I was there with some of the stud people sharing a common goal – DEUTSCHE BANK!!!
Already many were eliminated after the first round and as usual I was busy with my weird thoughts and imagination when suddenly 'A' entered the room and I heard my name in a bold voice – “Surabhi !”
I sprang up, straight to the door and after a firm handshake I was finally facing him… He asked a couple of questions and I answered completely forgetting it was an interview.. I was relaxed and comfortable, confident and to-the-point. I knew he liked direct crisp answers and that’s what I gave him. So the interview was good and I came back 90% sure I would get through this first round.
So after some time a pretty HR came with a list of people. She was fumbling with Indian names when suddenly I heard ‘Saurabh Jain’. I was quite sure that no such guy has come for the interview and this is a result of mispronunciation!! Quite happy I was, and in excitement just forgot that there was second round to go and I am supposed to give my best in that also.
So when the time came for 2nd round, I went, a bit too relaxed and content. Not even one answer of mine gave an impression of achievement, enthu or anything which would make them like me. I could not drive the conversation, was quite boring and dull, I did not even sound interested to answer his specific questions. I lost it, completely. I guess I am one of the few people who knows how close it was and then what went wrong.
Anyways, if you ask me, yes I am disappointed specially when I think about the magnitude of the opportunity. It was crucial, too crucial to just let go. I would have been relieved of so much tension and arbit pondering over the job-scene. A piece of free advice – NEVER TAKE THINGS LIGHTLY SPECIALLY AT THE LAST MOMENT
Saturday, September 13, 2008
ROCK ON !!!!!!
Farhan Akhtar did wonders in Dil Chahta Hai.. The friendship shown between Aakash, Sameer and 'Akshay Khanna' is what everyone wants to have - cool, careless, mad and having fun 24*7.
Recently I saw this movie called Rock On... , used to read its name in papers but always overlooked it .. maybe the name didn't appeal to me that much until I saw a full-page ad in TOI.. There was a comment "Rock On tries to bring Dil Chahta Hai back".. That instance I decided I HAVE TO watch this movie. I told my friend and we went to PVR. At the ticket counter we got a reply "only first row".. We still went for it and ...... WHAT A MOVIE!!!!! For the first time I didn't feel I had paid too much for a movie.. for the first time I felt there is a need to dedicate a whole 'post' to a movie.. Poltu ppl might understand this... hehe thoda ganda tha :P
Anyways coming back to d point, Rock On provokes the rock-star which is somewhere deep inside everyone. We all want to be ourselves !!! We all want to just break the so called rules in life and be freeeeeeee. Like sometimes I want to shout at the top of my voice, sometimes I want to run wildly, I want to jump, I want to act like a child, I want to be stubborn, I don't want to brush my teeth, I want to wear wierd clothes, I want to waste time , I want to just break free... This is what the movie did It touched that place in my heart ...
The way Aditya's home and office have been shown, it is my dream to own such a house, such a car but I could feel the emptiness of having everything but not being able to do what u really want to or are made to do.. Whats the use of being filthy rich when actually what u r is a canteen band.. but u know when u don't have the money, u always crib for it..
Same with KD, Joe and Rob. But Joe ie Arjun Rampal was acting wierd in the film..donno what was wrong with him... I guess bcoz he was the seniormost actor, so nobody was thr to check him !!
I want to add that I saw the movie one more time, taking tickets in black ... and then was willing to watch it again and again.. What to say about the muzik !!! It's sheer magik :D I'm obsessed with ROCK ON !!! ROCK ON !!!!!!!!
Recently I saw this movie called Rock On... , used to read its name in papers but always overlooked it .. maybe the name didn't appeal to me that much until I saw a full-page ad in TOI.. There was a comment "Rock On tries to bring Dil Chahta Hai back".. That instance I decided I HAVE TO watch this movie. I told my friend and we went to PVR. At the ticket counter we got a reply "only first row".. We still went for it and ...... WHAT A MOVIE!!!!! For the first time I didn't feel I had paid too much for a movie.. for the first time I felt there is a need to dedicate a whole 'post' to a movie.. Poltu ppl might understand this... hehe thoda ganda tha :P
Anyways coming back to d point, Rock On provokes the rock-star which is somewhere deep inside everyone. We all want to be ourselves !!! We all want to just break the so called rules in life and be freeeeeeee. Like sometimes I want to shout at the top of my voice, sometimes I want to run wildly, I want to jump, I want to act like a child, I want to be stubborn, I don't want to brush my teeth, I want to wear wierd clothes, I want to waste time , I want to just break free... This is what the movie did It touched that place in my heart ...
The way Aditya's home and office have been shown, it is my dream to own such a house, such a car but I could feel the emptiness of having everything but not being able to do what u really want to or are made to do.. Whats the use of being filthy rich when actually what u r is a canteen band.. but u know when u don't have the money, u always crib for it..
Same with KD, Joe and Rob. But Joe ie Arjun Rampal was acting wierd in the film..donno what was wrong with him... I guess bcoz he was the seniormost actor, so nobody was thr to check him !!
I want to add that I saw the movie one more time, taking tickets in black ... and then was willing to watch it again and again.. What to say about the muzik !!! It's sheer magik :D I'm obsessed with ROCK ON !!! ROCK ON !!!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Blogging..
I always had a negative attitude towards blogging.. i don't know why it was mostlyintuitive .. that blogging is something those do who are not able to hide their feelings...
but now i realize that it's not that bad .. i mean u can just write whatever nonsense u want and anybody who wishes to read will read.. no expectations !! quite a kool concept ....
but now i realize that it's not that bad .. i mean u can just write whatever nonsense u want and anybody who wishes to read will read.. no expectations !! quite a kool concept ....
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Some bitter memories...I want to let go...
I was a simple happy-go-lucky girl. I had just joined college and was too frank with everyone. I made quite a few ‘friends’ in my class and everything was going fine (as it seemed so). I only did what others did and was not considered ‘psycho’ or ‘different’. But somewhere there was a difference b/w me and others. My life was relatively ‘fraud-free’.
Then came majors and unlike previous semesters, this time I studied for them. Among my courses was a course on discrete mathematics which was being taught by a prof well known for his love for giving F grades. So the pre major totals never looked as if they were out of 50 .. the range generally was b/w 0 to 20 with a few exceptions.
The paper started at 1:00 p.m. I was sitting on the first seat. The paper was difficult as expected. But I was struggling my way through it. My pmt, like everyone was bad (around 22/50) but this time I had prepared well and was ready to give my best. To my surprise, the prof left after 15 mins and left a pretty dumb (pretty but dumb) teacher to invigilate. Till then it was fine. Now the TA roamed around and started helping the students with the answers. Answer scripts were being exchanged, solutions were being discussed and there was a complete chaotic situation in the name of ‘major’.
It wasn’t the first time I had seen my classmates ‘helping’ each other but I never bothered as I always thought when the prof is not worried, why should I bother ! But this day was different. I always respected this prof and considered him to be very idealistic and was feeling sad to think how his TA was breaking his trust. She was actually looking into books trying to locate answers while the students were busy with their group discussions.
After the paper, I had to go to sir for some doubt. While I was going there I met two of my friends who were also very frustrated because of what happened in the major. I went to sir’s office and suddenly he asked me,“ How was the paper ?” I don’t know what happened to me. My heart did not allow me to keep quiet. I just said,” Sir, I want to tell you something that I shouldn’t.”
And that moment somehow allowed me to go against all my classmates and friends and tell him all that happened in the class. My exact words were,” Today’s paper was not conducted fairly. It was a complete chaos.”
As soon these words came out of my mouth, I realized I had done something I will not be forgiven for. I came out of his office and called up my parents. They did not support me !! My mom said I should go and say sorry to my classmates… somehow I did not support myself. A couple of close friends made me realize I had not done a crime so I can maybe relax.
But I was greeted by the rudest of status messages on yahoo messenger and offliners with abusive language for me. Already my classmates knew !!! One of my friends called up and asked why I had to do this. I had no answer. He told me that sir had called him up and told him that I had complained. I was heartbroken.
One day, I went up to him to ask him not to punish anyone very severly. To my dismay he said,” Surabhi, if I were you I would never go against my class like this.” I was completely broken that moment. My heart became the heaviest and I controlled my tears and fled. I could not imagine how I would face everyone.
Ofcourse nobody wanted to see my face or keep anything with me. Everyone was against me. I received 2-3 mails saying ‘I think what you did was correct.’ But I did not respond to any. I did not talk to anybody and nobody talked to me either. They were accusing me of having some political reasons, personal fights etc of which I took revenge in this form. When I heard all this, I used to cry !! It was sick !! I never had any motive except to make the prof aware that he was not being careful in the way he conducted his examination. NOTHING ELSE
Anyways, I've been trying my best to make things ‘normal’ but as expected it is not easy. I am still not comfortable with my classmates and now as I'm passing out... sometimes I'm not able to bear the pain...
I just want to let go off this incident... somebody please empty my mind off it...
Then came majors and unlike previous semesters, this time I studied for them. Among my courses was a course on discrete mathematics which was being taught by a prof well known for his love for giving F grades. So the pre major totals never looked as if they were out of 50 .. the range generally was b/w 0 to 20 with a few exceptions.
The paper started at 1:00 p.m. I was sitting on the first seat. The paper was difficult as expected. But I was struggling my way through it. My pmt, like everyone was bad (around 22/50) but this time I had prepared well and was ready to give my best. To my surprise, the prof left after 15 mins and left a pretty dumb (pretty but dumb) teacher to invigilate. Till then it was fine. Now the TA roamed around and started helping the students with the answers. Answer scripts were being exchanged, solutions were being discussed and there was a complete chaotic situation in the name of ‘major’.
It wasn’t the first time I had seen my classmates ‘helping’ each other but I never bothered as I always thought when the prof is not worried, why should I bother ! But this day was different. I always respected this prof and considered him to be very idealistic and was feeling sad to think how his TA was breaking his trust. She was actually looking into books trying to locate answers while the students were busy with their group discussions.
After the paper, I had to go to sir for some doubt. While I was going there I met two of my friends who were also very frustrated because of what happened in the major. I went to sir’s office and suddenly he asked me,“ How was the paper ?” I don’t know what happened to me. My heart did not allow me to keep quiet. I just said,” Sir, I want to tell you something that I shouldn’t.”
And that moment somehow allowed me to go against all my classmates and friends and tell him all that happened in the class. My exact words were,” Today’s paper was not conducted fairly. It was a complete chaos.”
As soon these words came out of my mouth, I realized I had done something I will not be forgiven for. I came out of his office and called up my parents. They did not support me !! My mom said I should go and say sorry to my classmates… somehow I did not support myself. A couple of close friends made me realize I had not done a crime so I can maybe relax.
But I was greeted by the rudest of status messages on yahoo messenger and offliners with abusive language for me. Already my classmates knew !!! One of my friends called up and asked why I had to do this. I had no answer. He told me that sir had called him up and told him that I had complained. I was heartbroken.
One day, I went up to him to ask him not to punish anyone very severly. To my dismay he said,” Surabhi, if I were you I would never go against my class like this.” I was completely broken that moment. My heart became the heaviest and I controlled my tears and fled. I could not imagine how I would face everyone.
Ofcourse nobody wanted to see my face or keep anything with me. Everyone was against me. I received 2-3 mails saying ‘I think what you did was correct.’ But I did not respond to any. I did not talk to anybody and nobody talked to me either. They were accusing me of having some political reasons, personal fights etc of which I took revenge in this form. When I heard all this, I used to cry !! It was sick !! I never had any motive except to make the prof aware that he was not being careful in the way he conducted his examination. NOTHING ELSE
Anyways, I've been trying my best to make things ‘normal’ but as expected it is not easy. I am still not comfortable with my classmates and now as I'm passing out... sometimes I'm not able to bear the pain...
I just want to let go off this incident... somebody please empty my mind off it...
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