I cried but it was late

I didn't cry on my wedding day.. I didn't, not during getting ready, not during walking to the stage, not during jaimala, not during phere, not during kanyadaan and not during vidaai. I didn't. What to do ? But I cried as soon as I sat inside the vidaai car, as soon as all the crying faces were behind me, I broke down but that is not recorded in the wedding video. It was considered late and I am now termed as an unemotional person for the rest of my life. I can't go back to them and tell them that I did cry for them!! And I cried even more on the first Diwali after marriage, when I was not home with my parents. I think that's when it actually hit me that I have a changed identity and that I have actually changed homes. But I can't go back to them and tell them that I did cry!!